I work in the How To area of Mahalo, and I’m really pleased with how our content is growing. No matter what topic people are discussing, I can usually pipe up and say, “Hey, did you see our How To on that?” (Needless to say, this has made me extremely popular at any and all social gatherings!)

One page a lot of people have found useful is How to Get a Car Loan. It’s something almost everyone needs to do at some point, and we’ve gathered the best information out there. Once I follow our advice on How to Get Out of Debt, I might just give the page a look myself.

If there are any How Tos you think Mahalo needs, drop a line anytime!

I’m really enjoying the PG Tips Monkey ads. The best is the movie, and trailer.

Trailer:

A Tale of Two Continents… starring Monkey

Monkeys and tea… what more can you ask for?

I admire Northern Ireland for these ads. They’re hard-hitting. Gross as well, but they make you want to be a better driver.

I just caught Lorie’s latest video, courtesy of Le Post. Lorie seems to be France’s Britney Spears: once innocent, now less so. I’m hoping she forgoes the complete mental breakdown of our Brit Brit, but who knows?

Here are a few clips, to show Lorie’s musical progression. Warning: if you don’t like French pop music (although I can’t image who doesn’t?!?), this is not for you.

Tout prés de toi

Toi et Moi

Play

When I posted about Chuck Norris’ fine performance in “La bite dans un Tupperware,” I misunderstood what “la bite” meant (for the record, it actually means “cock”). Understanding slang is the hardest thing about learning a language. So I put together a list of my favorite French slang expressions, as a reference for myself and others. Some of these are fine for mixed company, others you shouldn’t say in front of your mother. (Or at least I wouldn’t say them in front of my mother; I don’t know what your maternal relationship is like…). Enjoy!

Je veux baiser un Schtroumpf: I want to fuck a Smurf.

La bite: cock.

Tu me fais chier: You make me sick.

C’est du chinois: I don’t understand.

Cinglé: Crazy.

La clope: cigarette.

Un con: Bastard.

Je craque pour le chocolat: I go nuts for chocolate.

Le cul: Ass.

Dégueulasse: Disgusting.

Fils de pute: Son of a bitch.

Va te faire foutre: Go fuck yourself.

Lécher les vitrines: Go window shopping.

J’en ai marre: I’ve had enough.

Une nana: Chick.

Piquer: to steal.

Putain: Whore.

Trou de cul: Asshole.

For more, I recommend this slang tutorial and the alternative French dictionary.

I don’t like drinking coffee, because it makes me stressed and nervous (plus I’m already addicted to sugar). And this video perfectly shows why people should steer clear of café. If you can’t function, cope, or stay awake without it, then change something else in your life!

For me, you can dub something into French, and it instantly becomes 20x more watchable. For instance:

Even if you don’t speak French, the phrase “la bite dans un Tupperware” is so classic, I defy you not to enjoy it.
Because I’m a sucker for French dubbing, I’ve watched hours of ersatz French TV and loved it, including:
La petite maison dans la prairie (Little House on the Prairie)
La croisière s’amuse (The Love Boat)
Smallville
Charmed
Dallas
Arabesque (Murder She Wrote)
Here’s the extended Chuck Norris Tupperware scene:

I still remember sitting in English during my junior year of high school and seeing a classmate start eating something that looked like an orange, only the flesh was a deep wine-red and the peel had a reddish blush to it. It looked cool, and when I found out the fruit was called a “blood” orange, I was sold. I still enjoy eating blood oranges, but now I’m even fonder of squeezing them to make blood orange juice: bright red, tastes like oranges and yet more exotic, and just different.

They’re in season now, so enjoy!

Here’s a cool history of the blood orange.

I love this song!

P.S. I should explain that this is a song, sung in French, by the famous Claude Nougaro about the city of Toulouse. Toulouse is where I first lived in France, when I went on a foreign study program from Dartmouth. It’s a beautiful smaller city in southwestern France.

Just enjoyed learning about Grumly, a truly talented bear.